Does Your Hero’s Name Pass the Harry Test?

I talk to myself and write it all down and hope it entertains and enlightens. So, in the spirit of Writer Enlightenment, here is my latest conversation with Myself. Please, feel free to join us in the comments below:

“Cotton? Your hero’s name is Cotton? What the he–,”

“Hey watch it! Family blog.”

*Rolls eyes* (yes, my subconscious has eyes to roll.) “No it’s not – it’s a womens’ blog. Everybody here is a woman who eats drinks sleeps breathes reads and writes romance novels. And you’re trying to pass off Cotton as the name of your hero …?”

“So what? What’s wrong with Cotton for a name?”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. I don’t think it’s any worse than something like Jamie or Wade … or Christian or Vishous. Those are out of the ordinary names…. What’s wrong with Cotton?”

“Are you kidding…? Okay, for starters, it’s a fiber.”

“Exactly! A pure fiber, with its own theme song: The Touch. The Feel… of Cot tonnn…”

Groan. “Ew. Oscar Mayer’s got jingles too – how about calling him Bacon?”

“Nah. Nitrates. Not organic, not pc, not to mention it makes me think of banjoes and Deliverance. Big Ew. Cotton is clean. It’s fresh. It’s southern.” *shrugs* “…Anyway, it’s just a nickname.”

“Oh, really? Nickname for…?”

“If I tell you you have to promise to be nice.”

“I’m your subconscious. It’s my job to be not nice. I’m here to help you grow that thick skin, so when you submit or query and the editor says ‘Change Cotton to something less along the lines of womens’ sanitary products and to something more masculine,’ or you self publish and reviewers all say ‘great hero, weird name,’ you won’t shrivel up and die from rejection.”

“Sigh. Okay. Cotton is the nickname for … Cornelius.”

“Gah! Cornelius? Bwahahahahaha!”

“Okay, not funny…,”

“Oooo… give it to me…Cornelius. Do it to me…Cornelius….”

“What’s all that about?”

“It’s the test.”

“What test?”

“The ‘When Harry Met Sally’ test. When Harry asked her where was her old boyfriend Sheldon?  And he told her it was a terrible name, as in ‘…give it to me, S h e l d o n.’  Do it to me…Cornelius.”

“Cotton! It’ll be ‘Give it to me …Cotton!”

“Cotton… Cornelius…. Meh. No difference. Get a better name.”

“I like it. It’s different. Who’d ever named a hero something like Vishous before JRWard anyway?”

“She’s the Wharden; she can do whatever  the hell she wants.”

“So okay – let’s put it to the test. Ooo…Vishous. Give it to me Vishous.… I hate it when you’re right – the Harry test works. I’m so down with Vishous for a hero name.”

“I’m down with Viscous period.”

*Snort!* Me too!

Your turn! For research purposes of course. Let’s give your hero’s name the Harry test… or if you have any other ideas that are Family Rating, feel free.

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